A young woman recently took to Reddit for her confrontation with a friend about her potential “alcohol problem” – and the debate has heated up.
A 25-year-old Reddit user posted on the “Am I the A ***** e” subreddit on October 14, 2022, that she and her 26-year-old fiance had decided on a “dry” marriage, “since we drink and see no point in spending money on alcohol, “he wrote.
Reddit user Mammoth-middle2910 continued in his post: “We were discussing getting an ATM, but then we decided not to consume alcohol. (There will be a wide range of other drinks, not just juices and sodas, provided). “
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Saying that the couple “informed our guests via invitations” of the dry wedding “with a message like: ‘You don’t have to worry about picking a driver or paying for a taxi, as everyone will be able to drive,'” the poster said. she soon received an answer from an incredulous and annoyed friend.
“So a friend (26-year-old male) called me and asked if I was joking about dry marriage,” Mammoth-Middle2910 wrote in her AITA post.
“I denied it. He asked me twice more and I always denied joking.”
The friend then asked her “what was wrong” with her, she continued – and asked “how is she doing [he] should have fun without alcohol “and” how it should work that night “.
The Reddit poster also said her friend told her it was “not okay” to go for a dry wedding.
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She later said she might have “been the bitch” when she told her distraught friend that they – meaning the couple about to get married – were “not obligated” to supply alcohol “just because she can’t have fun without it. “.
She explained that she also told her friend that “if she needs alcohol so badly and can’t do without it even for one night with people she knew, she may have a drinking problem and should consider therapy for it. cure it “.
As a couple, they are known for hosting “dry” events, including parties and dinners – they never provide alcohol.
Her friend later “turned” on her, she wrote, then withdrew her wedding invitation “until he apologized.[d] because he used many insults on me. “
Mammoth-Middle 2910 also shared subsequent changes to her original Reddit post about which she and her fiancé discussed providing an ATM at the wedding, but didn’t want to pay the dues that would have been due for the alcohol offer.
He also said that as a couple they are known to host “dry” events, including parties and dinners, and that they never provide alcohol.
“Our friends are divided over whether I’m the idiot,” he said in another edit to his original post.
“Some say I was right, others say I was not right,” he also wrote.
‘Feeling scared every night’
So what’s the best way to talk to friends or loved ones about their drinking?
While therapies and ideas for dealing with it vary, alcohol abuse is severe.
The friend then asked her “what was wrong” with her, she said, and asked “how is she doing [he] should have fun without alcohol. ”
“Drinking too much can harm your health,” according to the CDC (the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) on its website.
“Excessive alcohol use led to more than 140,000 deaths and 3.6 million years of potential life lost annually in the United States from 2015 to 2019, shortening the lives of those who died by an average of 26 years,” he said. also stated the agency.
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When you talk to a loved one or friend about alcohol abuse, “focus on your emotions and not their feelings or behavior,” psychologist David Helfand of Saint Johnsbury, Vermont, told Fox News Digital.
“For example, if you say: ‘Your drinking stresses me out’ [the person is] he will probably get very defensive and react or walk away, ‘”he continued.
“Instead, say something like, ‘I felt scared every night when you leave to go for a drink, because I worry about your safety.'”
Focusing on their emotions “makes it more likely that they can hear what you are saying and engage in the conversation,” he added.
“It is important to warn guests in advance if the couple is planning to have a dry wedding.”
It’s also important to “have a conversation in a private place,” Helfand said.
“Raising a sensitive topic in a group will most likely make the person feel attacked, which means they are likely to retaliate or walk away.”
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As for the alcoholic protocol at weddings, the choice is up to the couple who get married, according to experts.
An etiquette expert said dry weddings are fine. Be sure to inform guests in advance, please to them.
Jacqueline Whitmore, a Florida-based label expert, told Fox News Digital: “It is not mandatory to serve alcohol at a wedding reception. The couple can choose a ‘dry wedding’ for various reasons, from religious to religious. financial. It is not necessary to offer any explanation to your guests. “
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If the couple isn’t serving alcohol, “they might consider offering something fun like a non-alcoholic themed cocktail. A mocktail bar drink or milkshake bar are other good ideas,” added Whitmore, founder of The Protocol. School of Palm Beach.
“If the relative is not satisfied with the bride’s decision, he can refuse the invitation.”
In addition, he said: “The bride should have a private and frank conversation with the friend who prefers to drink alcohol at the wedding. If the relative is not happy with the bride’s decision, she can decline the invitation.”
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Whitmore added, “It is important to notify guests in advance if the couple is planning a dry wedding. The bride may consider placing a statement on the reception card stating, ‘No alcohol will be served. Thank you for your understanding. ‘”
“So,” he said, “guests aren’t surprised when they arrive at the reception.”
A wedding planner said that offering alcohol at a wedding reception is entirely up to the couple.
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“Regardless of the reason, the couple are not required to provide alcohol to their guests,” Kelly Boyle, owner of Leslie James Events in Boston, told Fox News Digital via email.
“And hopefully their loved ones will support this decision,” he added.
Fox News Digital’s Maureen Mackey contributed to this article.