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Happy Monday glorious everyone here. So what happens when you’re running out of white racists? It didn’t even have to be funny. Oh, it was great. It has never happened before. Installation becomes a joke.
Well, when you run out of white racists, like Doritos, you need to make more money. This means it’s time for “This Guy Blows”. Brought to you by sugar-free candy that has been ruining Halloween since 1962. ‘ I don’t think it’s real.
Yes. Charles Blow is America’s worst writer. Either him or the guy who keeps writing “dwarf” on my office door. Shot. But Blow, whose name is short for blowing smoke in the ass, takes a story involving Latin leaders in Los Angeles making bigoted comments about blacks and calls it proof of white supremacy. Yes, a Latina slanders a black person. But this is white racism, which makes white supremacy seem more diverse than an 1980s Benetton ad. Remember those?
He calls it “light supremacy,” which copies white supremacy. Because when a dark-skinned minority says something anti-black, it obviously crippled it from whites. So I guess you can judge how racist someone is by the number of sunscreen he uses. The higher the number, the more chance you have of being racist. I use a 45. So basically I’m a great wizard.
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It’s mild racism. Half the pigment and all the calories. Of course, non-whites can be bigoted from Louis Farrakhan to Joy Reid, but that’s not what Blow is saying. He is saying that there are different levels of pigment power, and the lighter ones are what he calls adjacent white, which sounds like Sherwin Williams’ new color. That paint shop, Kat. Anyway.
But when these bigots insult blacks, they learn such bad behavior, of course, from whites. But isn’t it inherently racist the belief that Latins are not smart enough to be racist on their own? They had to copy whitey. And I guess Blow never thought that such behavior could have been learned from him. This guy plays the race card more than Liz Warren trying to get into Harvard.
So, okay, now black people are white supremacists too. The lighter becomes whiter when brown mocks black. The Crayola Crayon Research Department will be pulling her hair out. And consider poor Larry Elder, who was once vilified as the face of white supremacy. He’s thinking, ‘Damn, another job stolen from a black man.’ Bad break, Larry. Even Relief Factor cannot relieve that pain. Great product, by the way.
But while Blow claims to condemn rates of racial tribalism, he does the same thing by seeking out a new racial team sport and dividing teams based on obscurity. Instead of shirts against skins, his skins against darker skins. Now, if we follow Blow, it’s like white itself is an evil substance and there are undertones that contribute to racism. But perhaps the time has come to replace the word “racism” with “whiteness” and save everyone’s time. You know, in the old days, being white made you racist. Now being racist makes you white, even if you are brown or white.
I wonder how they feel if Blow walked up to them and said, ‘What’s up, lighty?’ True: If this guy saw a black squirrel being attacked by a gray squirrel, he’d say the gray squirrel learned it from the whites. Who knew white supremacists were so lazy? One minute they march with tiki torches, now they entrust their racism to immigrants. Finally, Blow binds us all to a desire to take funds out of the police, the most disastrous anti-black policy since they canceled “The Jefferson”. It’s true.
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If you don’t advocate defunding, then you are racist against blacks. There isn’t much room for maneuver there. The blow is so superficial that he should wear a “no diving” sign around his neck. But we know that a decline in policing harms blacks more than any politics in the last 30 years. Also, blacks want more police. And look at the skin color of the dead since the crime wave erupted. They are mostly black, but the shot only sees pigment among the living because the dead don’t respond to its snap lure.
So what does it all boil down to? Well, Charles has his racist meal ticket. You really have to hate whites to come up with this kind of fevered hate dream. And also, you have to see it as your career. Blow is a pony with a makeup that tries to survive in the media landscape. He can never say that racism has abated because if he says so, he will be out of breed grooming work. So it’s no wonder he’s expanding the bigotry dating pool. He’s like a horny dude changing his ten-mile bait radius to planet Earth. Who hasn’t done it?
Plus, he knows his employer can never fire him, right? “This is racist,” she will say. She has learned well over the years watching Hall of Fame racing lures from Sharpton to Shaun King to Joy Reid. You need to broaden the accusing network of racism, even if it means that you are saying that all the hard work of civil rights leaders over the past 60 years has made things worse. It is so strange that people like Blow are called progressive because for them nothing ever progresses. It’s just worse. In his tiny mind, it’s still 1958 and this really blows.